McConfidential: Donna Moore

Donna Moore is the broad from Badsville, AKA Glasgow, although she isn't scary at all.

Rafe: Tell me a bit about your latest novel.

Donna: My latest (and, in fact, only!) novel is called Go to Helena Handbasket. It’s a crime fiction spoof that takes a whole load of crime fiction clichés and stuffs them all into one book – the cynical PI who suffers no ill effects from being beaten, stabbed and shot; the heroine who goes down into the basement without torch or gun just because a gravelly voiced stranger rings her up; the pathologist who’s altogether too fond of dead bodies; the divorced alcoholic cop; the serial killer with a ‘signature’; and...errr...recipes and cats. I hope it comes across as affectionate, because that’s how it was meant.

Rafe: Which authors have had the strongest influence on your writing?

Donna: Enid Blyton and Raymond Chandler. Enid Blyton was a big influence in my childhood. In fact, she very nearly got me arrested at the age of 7. My best friend Lydia and I used to love the Famous Five books. We would pretend to be the characters (I was George, Lydia was Anne). One day we stalked the new vicar of the small village we lived in - just because his jaw was covered in stubble and that's what all the villains in Enid Blyton looked like. And as for Chandler, well, I just love his writing. “It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window.” Perfect.

Rafe: What are your five favourite novels that aren’t normally considered crime fiction?

Donna: You’re a cruel man – this one’s really tough. I’ve got three that aren’t normally considered crime novels but sort of are, and another two that aren’t considered crime novels and aren’t – is that OK?

First of all, Magnus Mills’ Restraint of Beasts. Tam and Ritchie are a pair of lazy buggers who erect fences for a living. They are overseen by an unnamed foreman, who’s the narrator of the book. He has a thankless task, since Tam and Ritchie can’t go five minutes without a cigarette break. He also has the anally retentive boss, Donald, to contend with. Donald likes all the fences to be perfectly straight. And I mean perfectly. The trio are sent down to England (from Scotland) to do a job. There, they build fences and smoke fags, while staying in a scabby caravan. They also have to contend with the rather sinister Hall Brothers – butchers and fencers. There are crimes in this book. Big crimes. But they’re related in such a matter of fact way that you sort of glide past them. Restraint of Beasts puts the ‘dead’ into ‘deadpan’. It’s surreal yet down to earth, full of impending doom and full of fun. It’s just plain odd and totally brilliant. The Guardian said “If you only read one black comedy about fatal-accident-prone high-tensile-fence erectors, make it this one.”

Next, Thackeray’s Vanity Fair. Becky Sharp is a brilliant femme fatale. She uses her feminine wiles to great effect in order to obtain money and power, engages in war profiteering, dallies with her best friend’s husband, borrows money without paying it back (including from her loyal servant who becomes bankrupt because of it), lies, cheats, steals, deceives, and is not above prostituting herself for a quick buck. She’s completely amoral, cold as ice, and manipulative as hell. I love her.

Thirdly, Alan Bissett’s The Incredible Adam Spark. Adam and his sister Jude live in Falkirk. Adam is 18, has learning difficulties, works in a fast food restaurant, and he thinks he’s acquired the powers of a superhero after receiving a bash on the head. Now he has the problem of deciding whether to use his powers for good or evil – save a child or beat up his sister’s girlfriend. Decisions, decisions. It’s a look at good and evil, told in a totally original voice (and Falkirk dialect) by a character who’s part childish innocent and part violent thug.

So those are my non-crime crime favourites. As for books which have no crime element at all, it’s tough to narrow it down to two, so I shall just pluck two random favourites. First of all, Sempe and Goscinny’s (co-inventors of Asterix the Gaul) Le Petit Micolas about a nine year old French schoolboy and his pals. Very sweet and very funny. Secondly, Robert Graves’ I, Claudius. What can I say? I am entertained by mad Roman Emperors. Thinking about it – there’s plenty of murders in that one, so we can class it as crime fiction, right?


Rafe: Who is your favourite contemporary crime fiction author?

Donna: This is even harder than the previous question. One? One, Rafe? What sort of cruel, heartless person are you? I’m going to ignore the ‘is’ and pretend you wrote ‘are’. Daniel Woodrell, Joe Lansdale, Ken Bruen, Declan Burke, Al Guthrie, Kevin Wignall, Charles Willeford, Barbara Seranella, Megan Abbott, Reed Farrel Coleman, Charlie Williams, Steve Mosby, Ray Banks, Eddie Muller...I could go on.

Rafe: What book are you reading at present?

Donna: Sergio Bizzio’s Rage from the wonderful Bitter Lemon Press. It’s set in Argentina and is a slightly erotic thriller about a guy who commits a crime and hides out in the attic of the mansion where his girlfriend is a maid. I understand Guillermo del Toro is currently making a film based on the book.

Rafe: What project are you currently working on?

Donna: I’ve just finished writing a caper set in Glasgow. It’s called Old Dogs and it’s about two elderly ex-hookers turned con artists who concoct a plan to steal two jewel-encrusted gold dogs from a museum. Unfortunately, there are other parties interested in the dogs, not to mention an Australian hitman after the old ladies. It may never see the light of day, but it was great fun to write.

Rafe: Enid Blyton and Raymond Chandler. What a combination! I wonder how Chandler would have felt about that given his disdain for Christie and Sayers...Which is your favourite Chandler novel and why?

Donna: Another tough one – you don’t like to make things easy, do you? I think it would have to be Farewell, My Lovely because of Moose Malloy. A close second The Big Sleep – the Sternwoods are great, and I love the plot (despite the unexplained murder!). I also have a soft spot for The High Window...oh, it’s no good – I love them all.

Rafe: Yes, I recently reread The High Window and was pleasantly surprised how good it was. Now I’m going to show how cruel I really am: pick one of those contemporary crime fiction authors, and, the one book of theirs you would take to a desert island with you.

Donna: I used to like you, Rafe. It would be The Mammoth Book of Novels by Daniel Woodrell, Joe Lansdale, Ken Bruen...etc. So there.

OK, if forced at gunpoint, it would probably be Daniel Woodrell’s Winter's Bone. And the reason, well, here’s how it begins:

"Ree Dolly stood at break of deay on her cold front steps and smelled coming flurries and saw meat. Meat hung from trees across the creek. The carcasses hung pale of flesh with a fatty gleam from low limbs of saplings in the side yards. Three halt haggard houses formed a kneeling rank on the far creekside and each had two or more skinned torsos dangling by rope from sagged limbs, venison left to the weather for two nights and three days so the early blossoming of decay might round the flavour, sweeten that meat to the bone.

Snow clouds had replaced the horizon, capped the valley darkly, and chafing wind blew so the hung meat twirled from jigging branches. Ree, brunette and sixteen, with milk skin and abrupt green eyes, stood bare-armed in a fluttering yellowed dress, face to the wind, her cheeks reddening as if smacked and smacked again.She stood tall in combat boots, scarce at the waist but plenty through the arms and shoulders, a body made for loping after needs."

I love that - all my senses are set to tingling. He’s an amazing writer and his books are full of beautiful descriptions, wonderful characters. Winter's Bone is touching, heartbreaking and ferocious, with a sly sense of humour. There, I hope you’re happy now.

Rafe: I'm getting there. You mentioned a Scottish crime fiction blog in a couple of emails. As an ethnic Scot I naturally expect to be allowed to contribute! Tell me and my readers a bit (or a lot) more about the blog.

Donna: Well, goodness me. If your maiden aunt twice removed once visited Peebles for 5 minutes, I reserve the right to put you on the list. Consider it done. The address is http://www.bigbeatfrombadsville.blogspot.com/ The aim is primarily to cover Scottish crime fiction – books set in Scotland, Scottish authors, authors who just happen to live here – and will cover news, reviews, interviews etc. But I will also talk about random nonsense and anything which takes my fancy, so I’m not going to be strict about it. I’m having fun with it, and that’s the main thing.

Rafe: Old Dogs sounds great, and I certainly hope it does see the light of day. What comes next?

Donna: Thanks, me too. I’ve just started another caper, about a man who gets involved in a heist to clear out the entire contents of a house and things go downhill from there. And I’m also trying my hand at something a little bit darker, about two guys from different areas of Glasgow whose lives intersect at various points. I love reading dark books, but every time I write something that starts out dark, it turns into Arsenic and Old Lace.

Find out more about Donna at the Big Beat from Badsville: www.bigbeatfrombadsville.blogspot.com.